You So you got your applause,
At the end of 'The Dying Swan'.
The curtains came down,
And the world knew you were great.

Your little friends, like theatre mice,
Played plink plink plink on the piano.
You jauntily did your little dance,
And they all loved you, as did I.

Now you are gone, the scene is quiet.
No one puts on an act for me.
The little mice still applaud you in rapture,
Look hard to the wings, I still see you.  ¶ 5:48 pm 0 comments

  Reduced to virtual sarcasm Thanks! Smiley face smiley face kiss kiss
Is the inane way I sign emails.

Oh that’s a shame. Sad face sad face kiss kiss
Will be sent upon hearing disappointing news.

Haha! Grinning face grinning face
If something makes me crack a smile at my desk.

Dot dot dot but isn’t that..?
When someone’s got the wrong end of the stick,
Or I can’t believe they misunderstood me.

Cos using digital characters to convey emotion
Makes SO much damn sense.  ¶ 12:04 pm 0 comments

  10,000/1,000/5,000/500,000/6,000 When I think of people who are killed in great disasters - the collatoral damage - I think of a thousand people in my old secondary school's sports hall - there were 1,000 pupils in my school, and they all fitted in the sports hall for the last assembly of the year before the summer holidays. So when a news presenter says '10,000 people were killed by malnutrition/in the conflict so far/in the flooding etc etc, I will think of 10 sports halls worth of people. That's a fecking lot of people. It's the only way I can get my head around vast quantitites of people. I want to say I'm sorry for not meeting you, people who I've never met who are dead. For not helping you, for not being able to do one measly thing for you. Because when I think of 10 sports halls worth of people I feel utterly helpless.  ¶ 5:58 pm 0 comments

  Pretentious c**t I have been thinking things and seeing things and telling myself I should be writing it all down… to capture the moment’s mind’s eye like a snapshot. But then I figure, it’s ok, you’ll remember it later….but then I don’t because that moment has passed.

I can’t re-create how I felt on the grand rainbow spectrum of feeling at that particular point in that particular place looking at that particular thing or person in that particular light feeling that degree of PMT or feeling of love or hope or anger or whatever the fuck is going through the grand high mangle of human existence. My memory is obviously not what it was.  ¶ 11:19 am 0 comments

  Bright pink, big eyes. There’s a little girl downstairs, who has a pink pushchair. She stares at me and I feel very white. She looks and laughs and smiles at me, maybe they haven’t been over here that long… I’m the only white person in my block of flats, I think. I like that she has no fear yet – of how to be when you walk past someone – do you look down, or do you smile, or do you pretend to look at your mobile phone. Every day I have mini quandaries walking to work, judging each person on how they’ll react to you looking at them on the way past. I always try to smile, but some people just look too plain scary - potential rapists, or muggers. It’s more of an unconscious decision, not like I loose much brain time over it… But shows how quick a snap judgement can be. And how dangerous that could be too. Sometimes I’m surprised how friendly mean-looking people can be. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. I like saying hello to the little girl with the pink pushchair, seeing deep into her eyes, she has no barriers yet. She laughs at me. I say hello to her mum, too, but I don’t think she knows what to say to me, she looks away but is quite nice.  ¶ 6:03 pm 0 comments

  Right between the eyes then. Fuck. I blinked.
It’s like you appeared before me!
You are human,
But your spirit lives in a body too small for it.
It overspills your hands, comes out of your chest and precious belly.
Your eyes project rainbows,
And from your smile, a sunbeam.  ¶ 5:47 pm 0 comments

  Ffs. Your fingers twist inside me,
And I worriedly bite your shoulder.
Letting go is a pain in the arse.

Your eyes pull the soul from my tongue,
My insides scream at me,
"Let go you fucking bitch."  ¶ 4:44 pm 0 comments